memoirs, art and fragments by Thomas Milner

Posts tagged ‘matt & gloss’

Speak hands for me

We are having our gymnasium repainted to cheer it/us up and give some zing and oomph to dispel those Monday morning blues. The colours chosen are three – matt light-green, matt light-orange and matt light some-colour-which-I’ve-forgotten … to Mr. & Mrs. Vinyl-Paint, a son, Matt (and a daughter, Gloss). Heavens, do you remember all those ancient gags? To Mr. & Mrs. Wall-Carpet, a son, Walter etc.

Back to the gym; one day last year, at the end of the lesson, the physiotherapist and her colleague, to give a touchy-feely dimension to the proceedings, painted the palms and fingers of our right hands with (washable) bright paint – blue, red, green or pink – and then we plastered a print of our mitts onto a large white poster … yeah, that’s right, just like a bunch of kiddies in pre-primary school!

(The time-warp again, this time with shades of The Twilight Zone crossed with Monty Python)

Anyhow we all enjoyed it and later bemusedly studied our hand-prints on the two posters, now stuck up on the walls of the gym.


(They say that I have the hands of a fidalgo, I boasted to my physio the next lesson; yes, she rejoined promptly, but they didn’t mean it as a compliment!)

So, a few a weeks ago, she gave me the lesser of the two posters and asked me to do my stuff with it – think outside the box, she urged. The idea would be to help decorate the «new» gym.

It’s a work in progress.


About twenty years or so ago a runner-up for the prestigious Turner Prize for Art was exhibited at the Tate Modern Gallery on the South Bank of the Thames. It was entitled A Pile of Bricks and consisted of a pile of ordinary bricks. It transpired that, in transit to the gallery, the driver of the heavy van stopped at a pub for quick pint, leaving the van in the car-park, the wall of which was being repaired by a couple of workmen … ran out of bricks …. Cut-a-long-story-short … not the same bricks but identical ones … artist outraged … brouhaha … critics divided … literati amused … silly season prank etc. etc.

I fancy my chances with this entry entitled Painter’s Palette


Of course there is always a danger of someone thinking it’s only a painter’s palette and not a Painter’s Palette.


I notice blue hands too


and red hands


I notice hands


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